January 2012
1 post
“We’re all borrowing.”
– My Grandfather (On Life and Death)
October 2011
1 post
August 2011
2 posts
2 tags
All the offended everywhere. →
Luckily, I’m actually a man, so this doesn’t apply to me. But ladies, get your shit ready to be offended, especially if you like to knit and/or eat sugary treats. YA SHIT’S SOFT and you are not worthy of living.
Buhhhhh, everything hated forever. The end. Forever. Now I am dead.
But hopefully it was just written to get a rise out of people.
3 tags
June 2011
2 posts
3 tags
something i do not loathe →
Delightful indie rock brought to you by yours truly and the boys of Rockets on Wire (for freeeeee). Eat it up.
March 2011
2 posts
December 2010
2 posts
hating on harmonies.
“Harmonize” and/or “Harmonizing”
Let’s talk about it.
Don’t come near me and tell me that you’re good at harmonizing. Don’t come near me and tell me that you can harmonize really well with other people. Don’t come near me and tell me that you want me to teach you how to harmonize.
I don’t know what it is about this word, but when I...
2 tags
oh, hello old friend.
DO NOT:
Hang balls… and by balls, I mean testicles, from the trailer-hitch-guy of your truck and/or SUV and/or ANYTHING. It looks disgusting and makes me want to punch you in yours twice… one for each ball.
Later I am going to write an entry about how much I can’t stand the word “HARMONIZE.” I’m not even going to think about it now, for I will burst at the...
November 2010
3 posts
October 2010
3 posts
3 tags
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August 2010
2 posts
3 tags
HEY, rude guys.
Excuse me rude men who come into my restaurant and call me sweetheart:
Calling me “sweetheart” does not in any way make up for the fact that you left me a $2.00 tip this morning when I was at your beck and call for over an hour. You wanted lunch at 10:00 in the morning, well you got lunch at 10:00 in the morning; you need two pots of coffee instead of just one? “Sure, sir! ...
2 tags
July 2010
1 post
June 2010
1 post
1 tag
Rah, rah, rah ah ahhh.
HEY LISTEN!
No one cares about every little pathetic thing that happens in your life.
No one cares that you love your girlfriend more than life itself, except probably (but maybe not even) your girlfriend, so why not try telling her via phone call or text message, or GOSH maybe even in person instead of telling the suckhole that is Facebook/the internet.
No one cares about your pity party...
May 2010
12 posts
2 tags
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Shut the fuck up before I make you shut the fuck...
Dear 3 teenagers sitting across from me on the N train:
I will kill you coldheartedly with my purse if you don’t shut your no-good-immature-curse-for-the-sake-of-cursing-act-a-fool-oh-my-god-did-you-hear-what-he-SAID!? mouths.
I can be a loud subway talker myself sometimes, but the second you’re so loud that I can’t read more than a paragraph of my book without wanting to...
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I've been saying it too...
I hate the phrase “real” anything.
I’ve always been a “real person”
It’s always been the “real world.”
Fuck anyone who says differently.
Lack of post-age.
Yo. I hate being too busy to hate things.
Soon I will be back with so many things that I loathe.
What? Stop that.
Oh my god, bro blasting the techo across from me at 8:02 in the morning, get outta my life and get offa my train. Imma gonna punch ya.
And rain. Fuck you, I hate you.
3 tags
... you're a mini van.
The long shot.
The close up. Oh lordy lordy.
You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. You can’t “pimp your mini van” by putting fake bullet holes in it. That doesn’t make anything “cool.” That makes you a raging douchebag.
Fuck.
Graduation.
Loathed.
4 tags
Brickbreaker.
I have been thinking about writing this post before I even had a blog to write it in. Here goes:
Oh brickbreaker, fuck you and hard. Before I met you, I didn’t think it was possible to hate a video game (cell phone game?) as much as I hate you, but alas bb you have proven me wrong. How do you frustrate me to the point of wanting to scream in a fellow subway riders face? Or force me to...
April 2010
23 posts
3 tags
ASL?
But really.
Hey, high school kids, stop looking like you’re 25. You look older than me, and I really don’t dig that. So like I said, stop.
TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE.
LISTEN. It is not the correct time, old Mexican man, when I am walking with my students on the street to say “Yo, that teacher’s hot,” then stare me down because I will respond like this (and...
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OH MY GOD, NO.
WHAT AND WHY?
Get that shit out of my face.
No, you don't have good hygeine, no...
I’ve made it official today. The national passtime of Sunset Park’s old men is spitting on the street as soon as I walk up next to them.
Fucking gross, disgustingness for all time, or at least until I leave… I wonder if they’ll follow me. Gross, again.
4 tags
Fahrenheit 451
Okay, that’s a lie and has nothing to do with this.
But there are two Kindles to the left of me and two paperbacks to the right of me, and I feel like I’m stuck in my subconcious. Half of me says, “Kindle?! Boom, gotta have it, all the books in the universe in my hands.”. The other half yells directly at the first to shut the fuck up, “don’t you ever get a...
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Knowledge
Whenever I’m at school, I develop the nasty habit of speaking in third person… Punch me in the face twice.
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Get away from me forever.
Grown man blowing snot rockets on the subway platform, you’re disgusting.
Also, why does it smell like dogfood on this train. Stop it.
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Morning Commute...
Just a quickie…
Why doesn’t the subway automatically know when I don’t have a seat?
To bring it home: why doesn’t the subway automatically generate a new spot for my behind when all previously created seats are occupied?
I bet some of you wonder the same thing.
british kids are the damnedest
two british kids aged 7 and 4 are part of a bridal party on w 4th street.
british 7-year old: n.y.u. what does that stand for?
best man: what do you think it stands for?
british 7-year old: new york... university?
best man: you got it!
british 4-year old: do you know what b.u.s.s. stands for?
best man: no.
british 4-year old: big, ugly something-something.
Nece-scary.
A love and a hate to balance out the day.
The good news:
Skinny, little, white manboy clearly rapping to himself at BwayLaffytaffy this afternoon. Head in the clouds, arms flailing around like he had something to puh-rooove, earbuds in, busting a serious move. Attention man! You made my afternoon, and I’m sorry for staring at you. Thanks a bill.
Another love: OH MY GOD PUPPY ON THE...
3 tags
I said, shut up.
(Sorry every musical theatre friend I have for what is to follow.)
SHUT THE FUCK UP MUSICAL THEATRE MAJORS EVERYWHERE. When you are not in rehearsal, shut up. When you are not on stage, shut up. When you are in public, shut up. When you are around me, shut up.
No one wants to hear that you think you’re amazing. Don’t care, get over it.
5 tags
I hate:
disrespectful, misleading, self-important, immature douchebags.
You can suck it, jerk.
3 tags
So about that...
I used to love Jason Mraz until everything he posts on twitter starts with “I’m grateful for/to be…” and ends with “a movement.”
Holy lord, I will punch you three times consecutively in the head.
Is it fair for me to hate some one based on their twitter updates? Don’t care… Let’s remember that I tell people I pass on the street that I...
4 tags
A slew of loathings for your enjoyment...
now with picz!
WHAT IS THIS! The cube? For real? I can’t even say anything about this vehicle. What the fuck, forever.
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?
I actually don’t know whether I love this or hate this… friend, your car has bronze leaf all over it. What are you doing?
3 tags
Oh no.
Many loathes of the day:
The NYS teacher certification exams. One: you suck, Two: why do I have to pay to take this fucking exam? Three: why were there things on the music exam that I was never ever, not once, not never taught? Why were there instruments I’ve never heard of? What the fuck is a zither? Do I know what that is?
Also, people who have to say something about everything. ...